Different Types of Parenting Styles: Which Fits You Best?

Every parent wants to raise a happy, healthy, and responsible child—but the how of parenting can vary greatly from one family to another. These differences are often rooted in what experts call parenting styles, and understanding yours can be a powerful tool for improving communication, resolving conflict, and helping your teen thrive—especially during challenging times.

Parenting styles shape everything from discipline and communication to emotional development and academic success. The way you respond to your teen’s struggles—whether it’s mood swings, risky behavior, or defiance—can either create connection or push them further away.

At Hillcrest Adolescent Treatment Center in Agoura Hills, California, we work with families every day to restore balance and strengthen bonds, especially when teens are struggling with mental health or substance use issues. By understanding the different parenting styles, you can take the first step toward becoming a more conscious and confident parent.

Let’s explore the four main types of parenting styles, how they affect adolescent development, and which one may be the best fit for your family.

The 4 Main Types of Parenting Styles

Psychologists generally group parenting into four broad categories. These styles are based on levels of responsiveness (how nurturing or supportive a parent is) and demandingness (how much structure and discipline the parent imposes).

Each style influences a teen’s behavior, emotional development, and ability to cope with stress in different ways.

1. Authoritative Parenting: The Balanced Approach

High responsiveness + high demandingness

This style is often considered the healthiest and most effective. Authoritative parents set clear expectations and enforce boundaries—but they also listen to their teen’s thoughts and feelings. These parents value open communication and explain the reasoning behind rules, which helps teens feel respected and understood.

Characteristics:

• Consistent rules with flexibility when appropriate
  
• Active listening and two-way communication
  
• Encouragement of independence within boundaries
  
• Warm, supportive, and involved in the teen’s life

Effects on teens:
Teens raised by authoritative parents tend to have higher self-esteem, better academic performance, and stronger coping skills. They’re also more likely to form secure relationships and resist peer pressure.

2. Authoritarian Parenting: The “Because I Said So” Approach

Low responsiveness + high demandingness

Authoritarian parents are strict, expect obedience, and often use punishment rather than dialogue to enforce rules. They focus on control and discipline but may overlook the emotional needs of their teen.

Characteristics:

• Rigid rules with little room for negotiation
  
• High expectations with minimal explanation
  
• Less warmth and emotional availability
  
• Use of consequences or threats over conversation

Effects on teens:
While this style may result in short-term obedience, it can also lead to resentment, fear, or rebellion. Teens may struggle with self-esteem, anxiety, or difficulty expressing themselves in healthy ways.

3. Permissive Parenting: The Lenient Approach

High responsiveness + low demandingness

Permissive parents are warm and loving but struggle with enforcing rules. They often want to avoid conflict or be seen as a “friend” rather than a parent, which can lead to a lack of structure.

Characteristics:

• Few rules or inconsistent discipline
  
• High levels of nurturing and emotional support
  
• Frequent leniency or giving in to requests
  
• Avoidance of confrontation or conflict

Effects on teens:
Teens raised in permissive households may have trouble with boundaries, self-discipline, and authority. They might engage in risky behavior or lack motivation due to the absence of clear expectations.

4. Neglectful Parenting: The Disengaged Approach

Low responsiveness + low demandingness

Also known as uninvolved parenting, this style is marked by emotional distance and a lack of involvement in the teen’s life. Neglectful parents may be overwhelmed, dealing with their own mental health issues, or unaware of how their absence is affecting their child.

Characteristics:

• Minimal interaction or supervision
  
• Little guidance or discipline
  
• Lack of emotional support or validation
  
• Focused on personal needs over parenting duties

Effects on teens:
This parenting style is associated with the most negative outcomes, including academic failure, low self-esteem, substance abuse, and difficulty forming healthy relationships. Teens may feel neglected, unloved, or invisible.

Which Parenting Style Fits You Best?

Most parents don’t fall neatly into one category—many fluctuate depending on stress, circumstances, or life stage. But identifying your dominant parenting style can be eye-opening. Ask yourself:

• Do I explain rules and listen to my teen’s opinions, or do I expect blind obedience?
  
• Do I avoid setting limits because I want to be liked, or am I consistent with boundaries?
  
• Am I emotionally available and involved in my teen’s daily life?

Recognizing your tendencies isn’t about judgment—it’s about growth. If you’re dealing with a teen who’s acting out, becoming more aware of your parenting approach can open the door to better communication, deeper trust, and more effective conflict resolution.

Parenting Teens in Crisis: Why Style Matters More Than Ever

When a teen is struggling with mental health issues, substance use, or risky behavior, the parenting style you bring to the table becomes especially important. Teens in crisis need structure and emotional safety. They need to feel understood, but also held accountable.

At Hillcrest Adolescent Treatment Center, we help parents and teens reconnect and rebuild trust through family therapy, parent coaching, and psychoeducation. Our goal is to empower families to become a source of healing—not just correction.

How Hillcrest Supports Families and Teens

Located in the peaceful hills of Agoura Hills, California, Hillcrest is a residential treatment center designed for adolescents facing emotional, behavioral, and substance use challenges.

Our holistic, retreat-style program includes:

• Evidence-based therapy (CBT, DBT, trauma-focused care)
  
• Family therapy and parent support
  
• Academic planning and tutoring
  
• Art, music, and movement therapy
  
• Wellness practices like yoga, mindfulness, and nutrition coaching

We don’t just treat teens—we work with families to transform the home environment, strengthen relationships, and create long-lasting change.

Contact Us for Support

Understanding the different types of parenting styles is more than an academic exercise—it’s a practical tool that can transform the way you relate to your teen. Whether you’re firm and structured, emotionally supportive, or somewhere in between, there’s always room to grow as a parent.

If parenting your teen feels like walking on eggshells, or if you’re dealing with defiance, emotional outbursts, substance use, or withdrawal, it’s okay to reach out for help.

At Hillcrest Adolescent Treatment Center, we provide a safe space for healing and growth—for both teens and their families. If your teen is in crisis, know that help is available. You don’t have to navigate this alone.

At Hillcrest, we’re here to help families heal, reconnect, and move forward—together.