Coping With a Disrespectful Teenager: 5 Tips

We all remember what it was like to be a teenager who thought we knew it all and found input from adults tiresome, but what happens when we become the parents of teenagers? Being on the other side of this parent/child exchange can be confusing and leave parents wondering what average teenage behavior is and what is a sign that something is wrong. We explore the question of what to do with a disrespectful teenager and bring about more family unity. Hillcrest offers residential and outpatient programs to help teens who struggle with poor mental health and need professional guidance to help improve how they think, feel, and act.

Learn more about our teen treatment programs or verify your insurance today.

Are Teenagers Naturally Disrespectful?

Part of the growth process during the teenage years includes questioning authorities and rebelling as the individual explores their newfound roles in their world as they age. However, there is a difference between average amounts of surliness and a child who flaunts their disrespect and does not accept the consequences. 

What Makes Teenagers Act Disrespectfully?

Part of contemplating what to do with a disrespectful teenager begins with understanding why they act this way. Adolescence causes a great deal of changes in a person’s brain development. This can cause them to overreact, rebel, question things, and become overly emotional. Teenagers often don’t realize their behavior is somewhat out of sorts. Coupled with a lack of life experience that prevents them from always empathizing with others can result in them acting disrespectfully.

Teenagers are often exposed to new situations, friendships, cliques, and hobbies. They want privacy as they address new experiences and have questions about them, which can come across as being rude or secretive to their parents. It is a challenging time of life because teenagers are trying to establish their independence and make more of their own decisions while still needing to rely on their family to catch them if they fall. 

What to Do with a Disrespectful Teenager

When parents and other family members need to know what to do with a disrespectful teenager, they can try different approaches to help bring about more family peace.

Tip 1

Make respect a two-way street. Talk to your child about how everyone wants to feel respected, and try to role model this to them. Tell them that while people can disagree, they can do so respectfully. 

Tip 2

Communication is vital to any relationship, including parents and their teenagers. When it comes to volatile topics, ask to speak to your child when everyone is calm and is willing to participate in an open dialogue designed to help each person understand the other’s point of view. Expect some eye-rolling, but keep on topic and make a habit of checking in with your teenager on a regular basis. 

Tip 3

Define “respect” by talking to your child about what it means to them and to you. Use examples of ways to communicate a disagreement without it becoming rude or an all-out fight. “I” statements are productive, such as, “When you said this, I felt disrespected. Can we talk about this subject without hurting each other’s feelings?”

Tip 4

Set limits and explain to your child why you set them. Examples can include why they have a specific curfew, the amount of time they spend staring at screens, and why there are family rules. Children often think parents choose rules arbitrarily and can benefit from knowing why their folks want certain rules followed.

Tip 5

Be willing to be flexible when the time is right, like pushing curfew back on weekends or allowing other activities that might not have been a good fit for them when the child was younger.

When is Disrespectful Behavior a Sign of a Mental Health Disorder?

A rebellious teenager may have trouble beyond the average disrespectful behavior common to their age group. There are red flags to look out for that may indicate the child is dealing with more than just growing pains.

• Depression
• Anxiety
• Doing poorly in school
• Skipping school
• Drug or alcohol usage
• Having experienced a traumatic event, even earlier in life
• Running away from home
• Acting aggressively or violently
• Isolating from others

How are Mental Health Disorders Treated?

If a parent discovers their child has a mental health disorder, the question of what to do with a disrespectful teenager focuses on the types of therapy that will help them. Therapy modalities that can work well for teenagers include:

• Dialectical Behavioral Therapy
• Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
• Education
• Behavioral Therapy
• Psychodynamic Therapy
• Interpersonal Therapy
• Family Therapy
• Group Therapy
• Personal Development 

Begin Treatment for Mental Illnesses in Teenagers at Hillcrest

Every parent of an adolescent at one time or another has wondered what to do with a disrespectful teenager. They want to give their child room to get acclimated to their roles as they leave childhood behind, without allowing them to act without regard for respecting others. Hillcrest offers comprehensive care for teenagers struggling with mental health disorders that helps them deal with past and current triggers for their negative behaviors. Our licensed staff provides structured care on a residential or outpatient basis to help teens live their best lives while learning to set and respect boundaries for behavior.

Contact us today to find out how we can help your teenager express themselves in positive ways and go on to lead a productive and healthy adult life. Let today be the day your child begins to take steps toward emotional and mental growth.